Fearless

In some ways it seems so cliche to do the New Year Resolution thing, but there is just something about starting a new year that makes me (and obviously others) reflective. One of the things I love about blogging (reading others and writing) are the honest reflections on daily life and challenges that we can all relate too.

The first blog I was introdued to was this one: Kristi. I still read this blog regularly because I find her to be so real. One thing I love that I learned from her (not original to her, but it's where I saw it first) was instead of specific resolutions, pick a word of focus for the year. So I've thought about this ever since I read about this the first time and wondered what sort of word I would pick. As the new year came, I knew what I wanted in a word, but was having a hard time coming up with the word.

So what was it that I knew I wanted from 2008?:

• I want to be closer to being person I know I am inside. I don't really think this happens in one year, because the learning and changing never stops, but I don't want to feel like I'm holding myself back. I want to live on purpose and take advantage of every opportunity.

That may seem weird, but that's it. And there are lots of angles from which I view this statement or idea, but it all comes back to the same thing. And it applies to several, if not most, areas of my life. It's not about being perfect. It's not about what I have. It's not even about what others think of me. It's about what I know in my heart. And saying that, it's not a comparisson to who I am today or to anybody else.

So my word for 2008 is: FEARLESS

I finally found my word right around the first of the year, but couldn't totally articulate why it is the one. I knew it was, and could sort of explain it, but not well. I figured it didn't really matter because I knew what it meant to me. Then my friend Jamie spoke in church sunday and it was awesome. It was everything I had been thinking and more. She validated the thoughts and feelings I had had. She inspired me to write this post, which I had decided I wasn't going to do because it was too personal.

I think that from time to time, I'll write my thoughts on this word. For now, here are some of my simple thoughts on what it means to be FEARLESS:

• willing to look--really look at--what is holding me back from things I want
• willing to act on my inner voice--and not hold back based on fear of what others will think/say/do
• willing to give up comparisions and overanalyzing
• willing to learn to look for my affirmation/feed-back from the right sources
• willing to take risks from things that are important--mostly relationships
• really learn to have confidence in the tasks at hand--and know that my energy is well spent. This will take me really focusing on seeking a confirmation as to what is the better part for ME right now.
• learning to look for the reasons why I have particular personality strengths/flaws--instead of wishing them away. and trusting the Lord enough to realize He gave those to me so I can add my strength to those around me and to learn from the weakness associated with that strength.
• learing to not care what others think, but still caring about others

I've heard this quote before, but had forgotten it. (Again, thanks to Jamie!) This is what I think my inner voice is telling me and it's hard to listen. Our world so conditions us that there is only one winner. The truth is that in our Heavenly Father's plan, there is room for everyone who wants to put forth the effort. It is a human flaw, that we elevate ourselves at another's expense. And we do it without even thinking. Often, we do it in reverse. We admire someone else's strengths or gifts and elevate them above ourselves in our own minds.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small Does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, As children do. We were born to make manifest The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.”--Marianne Williamson